Getting over your ex is one of the greatest dilemmas. It’s rarely a quick and easy process, and it’s often complicated by all the things that the two of you still have in common, like friends, favorite hangouts and even living quarters. Maybe the most frustrating thing about the whole process is that even if ending the relationship was the right thing to do -- even if he or she cheated on you -- it can still be hard to bury all those memories and move on with your life.
摆脱前任阴影应该是世上最大的困境之一。这个过程很少是短暂的,而你俩的那些共同点则让这个过程更加复杂。最麻烦的是那些你们都认识的朋友、都喜欢去的地方,甚至是住的地方。还有让你自己感觉到不争气的莫过于明明知道分手是是正确的选择,甚至是对方先给你戴绿帽子的,但是你还是忘不了从前,让生活止步不前。
We’ve put together a list of the 11 tips for getting over your ex. Follow this program from start to finish, and you’ll be back to your old self in no time.
我们为你列举了9个窍门,只要你照着做,保证能满血复活。
1. Take Him or Her Off That Pedestal
把TA从你心里的神座上拉下来
First things first: Stop acting like your ex was God’s gift. Make a list of his or her annoying traits. Let your buddies bad-mouth her.
首先的首先:不要再认为你的前任是上帝赐给你的礼物。列一个TA的八婆特质清单。让你的好朋友给你说说TA的坏话。
2. Get Closure
快刀斩乱麻
If you’re going to break up with him or her, don’t put it off. Make sure you’re both on the same page. This is a breakup. The two of you are moving on, which means potentially seeing other people. If you feel the need to do a relationship postmortem, do it now. You won’t be seeing her again for a while.
一旦你决定分手,那么不要拖。要让对方明白现在是个什么情况,这是分手。如果你们两个人都决定分手那么意味着你们都想认识其他人。如果你想让你的感情成为过去式,那么当机立断。这样你也不会再见到TA。
3. Don't Contact
别再联系
After you’ve gotten closer, don’t contact her. Go cold turkey. Seriously. Maybe you said some crap about trying to stay friends, maybe you made some idiot vow to “always be there for each other,” but forget it.
如果你们分手,就不要再联系。做就做绝,讲真,要做绝。也许你说过还可以做朋友之类的屁话,或者是你可以随时联系我之类的傻话,全都忘了吧。
4. Work Out
去健身
Without a person gobbling up hours out of every day, you may be wondering what to do with yourself. Now that you’re single, we suggest hitting the gym or taking a jog.
少了个人每天在你身边哔哔,你可能不知道一个人要干啥。单身以后健身和慢跑都是不错的选择。
5. Don't Try Getting Your Stuff Back
不要从前任那里拿回你的东西
By the same token, you don’t want to try to get your stuff back. You can’t have a relationship relapse if you don’t allow yourself to see your ex. Forget about all that stuff you left at his or her place. Consider it gone.
同样的,你不想从前任那里拿回你的东西。如果你让自己见到前任,那么你就很难摆脱这段感情的阴影。所以忘了你的东西,就当丢了。
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6. Hang With Your Friends
和朋友一起出去
One of the things many guys have to sacrifice when in a committed relationship was spending a lot of time with friends. Relationships are notorious time-bandits, as being with the person you're closest to tends to take priority over catching up with your buddies. But now that you’re single, you can reconnect with everyone you left behind. Not only will it be fun, but it will also be therapeutic, because hanging out with your friends is one of the most rewarding of our tips for getting over your ex.在对彼此有承诺的爱侣间消磨时间,往往会占用与朋友们维系感情的时间。时间是盗贼,你也背上了见色忘义的罪名。现在你单身了,找回熟悉的狐朋狗友,不仅能收获乐趣,还能帮你治疗情伤,忘记前任。
7. Remember The Bad Times
记住以前的不愉快
It’s pretty common for people to idealize their significant others after a breakup. You’ll just be going about your business, and then, suddenly, you’ll remember an inside joke or a great date. Then you’ll grin, thinking about a cute personality quirk of this person, and before long, you’re fantasizing about how great your sex life used to be. Snap out of it. One of the most important of our tips for getting over your ex is to remember the bad times. Focus on the fights and the problems. Recollect the bad habits and the little things about the relationship that frustrated you.
男人的通病就是分手之后总会不由得记起对方的好。日子照常过,但突然有一刻,你想起了只有两个人才知道的笑话,或是一次很棒的约会。接着回忆起前任古灵精怪、讨人喜欢的性格,以及非常合拍的爱爱。快点适时停止,提醒你最重要的一点是,不要忘了你们之前的不愉快,以及那些坏习惯和让你觉得厌烦的鸡零狗碎。
8. Exercise Your Newfound Freedoms
利用空闲,释放自我
Relationships are about compromise. Being single should be about doing whatever the hell you want. Look, you’re free to do whatever you want (within the bounds of the law, of course).
关系意味着妥协(有时候你不得不放弃自己的时间来维系某种关系)。终于可以利用单身的时间想做什么就做什么了。
9. Hook Up With Someone Else
勾搭其他人
One thing that a lot of guys do to get over exes is get someone else into the picture. If you think you could benefit from a sexual encounter without emotions, it might be work checking out a few hookup websites.
忘记前任很多人都会选择勾搭其他人。如果单纯的新激情能让你感觉到心理补偿的话,那就找个类似“陌陌”的网站。