This is my family's story from a poor, broken background that I've been meaning to share for a long while.
这是我与家人的故事,我们曾穷困潦倒,不名一钱,长久以来,我一直想分享这个故事。
Life can be really difficult for many of us and I feel like I have something to offer to those of you that feel low, unmotivated, or stuck in a difficult situation.
对许多人来说,生活是一件很艰难的事情。如果读到此文的人中有人感到情绪低落,生活没有目标或是深陷困境,我想要与你们分享我的故事。
Ever since I was 11 years old, I wished I was dead.
从我11岁的时候开始,我就希望自己死掉。
It began immediately after my father who, one day, beat me ruthlessly for asking him why he was drunk.
那天我问我爸爸,为什么他醉醺醺的,他为此毫不留情的把我暴打了一顿,突然之间我就产生了想死的念头。
He punched me, threw my tiny body across the room to the wall, and told me I was stupid for asking such questions, and that he regrets having such a dumb kid.
他狠狠给了我几拳之后,把我瘦小的身体从屋子一边扔到了另一边,我撞在墙上。接着他告诉我,傻子才会问这样的问题,他真后悔生了我这么蠢的孩子。
He slammed the door to my room as he left and I remember picking myself up and stumbling to bed so that I could cry as quietly as possible.
他离开我的房间,狠狠摔上房门。我记得自己慢慢爬起来,跌跌撞撞的回到床上,努力尽可能压低自己哭泣的声音。
Usually, my mother tries to stop him, but she was shopping for food at this particular time for our dinner.
大多数时候,我母亲都会阻止他,可是那会儿她刚好去买做晚饭用的食材去了。
She, as well as my brother and sister, were all victims of my fathers abuse.
她和我的哥哥、姐姐一样,我们都是父亲虐待的对象。
When he was angry at us, she would often divert his attention to herself to free us of harm, which didn't always work.
当他对我们发火的时候,她常常把他的注意转向她自己,让我们免受父亲伤害,但这个办法常常不奏效。
Why didn't she leave? Because she was stuck, like most mothers in abusive relationships are.
为什么她不离开父亲?因为她被生活困住了,就和大多数遭受家庭暴力的母亲一样。
We were poor, and she was a housewife, with no job, and only wanted the best for her children.
我们很穷,她只是个家庭妇女,她没有工作,一心希望给孩子们最好的生活。
She was my anchor.
她是我的主心骨。
Right now, its 2018. I'm a doctor. I've been grinding to bring my family's life up to a normal standard.
如今,时间已经是2018年了。通过多年的艰辛努力,我总算让家人过上了正常的生活。
We have enough money to eat, go on holidays, buy each other gifts, and truly appreciate each other.
我们有足够的钱,能吃饱,去度假,买礼物送给对方,并且真心实意的欣赏对方。
So, if you're someone who suffers from depression, or someone who feels lost, hopeless, or any of the things my family and I may have felt above, know that there is a way to happier days.
所以,如果你也是正被抑郁症折磨的人,如果你也茫然若失,悲伤绝望,如果你也感受着我和我的家人曾感受过的痛苦,请记住,总有一条路会通向幸福的日子。
It is not meant to be easy. Our weakness is often the perception we have of ourselves and what we assume others perceive about us.
找到通向幸福的路绝非易事。我们对自我的认知,我们假想中别人对我们的看法,常常会成为我们的软肋。
Depression is a malignant disease of that perception. See the suffering through the eyes of those around you and tap into your true potential.
正是这种认知滋长了抑郁症这种险恶的疾病。你应该做的,就是由己及人,从别人的视角重新审视这些苦难,并且挖掘出你真正的潜能。
Prove your demons and your enemies wrong and you'll know true freedom.
向你心中的恶魔和你的敌人证明,他们错了。你会获得真正的自由。
(翻译:小木)