Psychologists have spent years studying the traits that are fundamental to successful long-term relationships and come up with a few key ideas.
心理学家花了多年研究保持长期恋爱关系的特点,发现了关键的几条。
You think about your partner often when you're not together
你们不在一起的时候,你也在想你的爱侣
Certain relationship characteristics were linked to stronger feelings of love. One especially interesting finding: The more often people reported thinking about their partner when they were apart, the more in love they felt.
某些恋爱关系的特点和更深层的情感相关联。有个有趣的发现:和伴侣分开始想着伴侣越多,他们感受到的爱也更多。
You respond positively to each other's good news
你们对彼此的好消息都作出正面回应
A passive-constructive response would be understated support -- a warm smile and a simple "That's good news.
"富积极建设意义的回应是含蓄的支持,如温暖的微笑和简单一句“这是好消息”。
You spend some time apart, with your own friends
你们会分开和自己的朋友一起共度时光
If you want to be happy in your marriage, it's best not to look to your partner for all your existential needs. Psychologists recommend finding yourself in hobbies, friends, and work as well.
如果你希望婚姻幸福,最好不要把你的伴侣视作满足你生存需求的对象。心理学家们推荐,要找到自己的兴趣爱好、朋友和工作。
You have a similar sense of humor
你们的幽默感相似
Having a "private" language with your partner -- i.e. nicknames and jokes-- can help facilitate bonding and often predicts relationship satisfaction.
和你的伴侣有“私密”的语言,如昵称和笑话,有助加强关系,通常预示恋爱关系满足感。
You split chores evenly
你们平分家务琐事
In one poll, as many as 62% of adults said that sharing chores is very important to a successful marriage.
一项民意测试显示有多达62%的成年人称分担琐事对成功的婚姻至关重要。
You try new things together
你们一起尝试新事物
Novelty alone is probably not enough to save a marriage in crisis. But for couples who have a reasonably good but slightly dull relationship, novelty may help reignite old sparks.
新意本身并不足以拯救婚姻危机,但对于关系尚可稍稍无趣的恋爱关系而言,新颖有趣有助重燃起过往的火花。
You don't have a lot of extreme downturns in your relationship
你们的恋爱关系里没有太多极端的低谷转折
Conflict-ridden couples fought often and had a lot of mini-fluctuations in their level of commitment.
常有争执牵绊的伴侣经常吵架,在婚姻承诺中常有起起落落。
You know how to recover from a fight
你们知道如何争执后恢复关系
The No. 1 shared trait among successful relationships is being able to repair the bond after a fight. It's about the way you approach it.
成功婚姻关系共有的特点中,第一条就是争执后能够修复关系。是你如何处理问题。