1. Your bathroom is LITTERED with blackened Q-tips.

1、浴室里永远散落着无数黑色棉花签。

2. Sneezing and hiccuping are FORBIDDEN unless you want to end up like this.

2、画眼妆时不能打喷嚏、打嗝，除非你想沦落至此。

3. But every so often you twitch at the wrong moment and summon the downfall of your perfect lids.

3、然而你经常在不该手抖的那一刻手抖，接着完美的眼睑就塌下来了。

（上图：脑中想着要把眼角画的小一些，而四秒后……）

4. You try to keep that wing conservative, but your hand has a mind of its own.

4、你想把眼角处理得保守一些，但手就是不听使唤。

5. If you have hooded eyes, you have your own unique set of issues.

5、如果你是内双，那你遇到的麻烦就相当特别了。

6. You look to tutorials for guidance but always manage to royally fuck it up.

6、美妆教程很丰满，自己动手很骨感。

（上图：一遍遍重画以后的我）

7. But redoing it over and over again makes your eyes feel raw AF.

7、然而一遍遍地擦掉重来真的很闹心。

8. You compulsively try new liquid liners to see if it ever gets any easier. (Spoiler alert: It doesn't.)

8、你饶有兴致地不停尝试新的眼线液笔，看看是不是这一款好画一些（悄悄告诉你：并没有）。

（上图：当你忘记自己有化妆并揉了一下眼睛时）

9. Honestly you deserve an award for resisting the urge to itch.

9、你忍住不去抓痒的能力都能简直能得个奖。

10. This kind of tragedy makes you want to hug your Naked palette close.

10、这样的悲剧让你好想抱紧你的眼影盘。

（上图：警方称，这位女子偷了价值144美刀的眼影）

11. You're pretty sure you understand this woman on a spiritual level.

11、你很确定你和这位有精神上的共鸣。

（上图：没有什么比这更能让我苦恼了）

12. And in your opinion, THIS is a worse crime.

12、在你眼中，这是最严重的犯罪。

13. You've seriously considered buying these because FUCK SMUDGES.

13、因为怕晕妆，你真的会认真考虑买这种产品。

14. You've trained yourself to feel no emotion so as not to ruin all your hard work.

14、你训练自己克制住感情，这样妆就不会哭花了。

15. There is no worse betrayal than when your mascara clumps on you.

15、没有比睫毛膏结块更可恶的背叛了。

16. And you're pretty sure the only way to fight is by opening your mouth in this weird way.

16、而唯一防止结块的方法就是涂睫毛膏的时候这样张开嘴。

17. Eye makeup is a gift from God, but also a curse you must fight every day.

17.眼妆是你的天堂，同时也是你的地狱。